I am talking to Carmichael's mum. First I straighten my back, just a small adjustment, I don't think anyone can notice. I move my toes. I see Meg sitting on the floor with her baby boy. I make a walk to the small green block that is left in the middle of the space from the rehearsal, which has just finished. I bring the block to the stack of green blocks. I keep listening to the conversation. It is about fish on the good friday, that she ate because fish was fresh on fridays in her neighborhood, not because they were catholic. I move towards Meg's phone. I ask "should I press X or ZZZ?" I increase the size of my gestures in about 3%.
Walking on the street with Jozio, I stretch my right leg for a second longer than necessary as we cross the street. Then I walk sideways as much as we walk forward. "Why are we changing places all the time" asks Jozio. Because I am constantly changing from being on his right side to being on his left side. "To have some fun." I reply. We keep playing changing sides and hopping (jumping?) on different lines and pavement squares of different colors.
In 3:15 I often do the first thing available. My practice is to catch the first impulse and follow it for as long as I can sustain the situation. This dance is the first one filmed by Jozio, my son, during our Sunday walk.
In the ACME supermarket I find it quite familiar to be caught between this aisles. I have done this before. Except now, when I am shopping with my son and my mother here, I don’t feel so displaced and alien. I take 3 steps sideways, along the shelf crossing my legs. I am much more confident. Not confident enough to dance but confident enough to take photos of myself in this strange place.
The alarm goes off in the dark corridor. It is my mother’s birthday today and we gathered in my house. Everyone is in the kitchen. I go to switch the alarm off. I stay in the dark corridor and I begin to move. I put my hands on the furniture. I look at my body. I slow down my movements from the everyday. It is dark. I am in the dark. I am in a private space where I can move. Short dance but longer then in the last few days. Today movement is my space of uncompromised freedom. I stop when I hear my son asking in the kitchen: Where is mom?
I walk on Mokotowska Street. I video walking on different surfases of pavement. There is no space on my phone anymore. I continue walking and stoping on different shapes in different speed, untill I forget I was doing it, somewhere close to the Apteka on Zbawiciela Sq.
Another 3:15 when I mix food on a stove as the alarm goes on. I am at Magda’s place. We heat our lunch with her and Marta. Magda says: Are you going to do your dance now. I say: Yes. She asks: Are you going to do it here or will you lock yourself in the toilet to have some privacy? I answer something like "We will see”. Something happens and it makes our minds shifts to another subject. I forget to dance.